How to Choose Your First Sex Toy: A No-Judgment Beginner's Guide

Where Do You Even Start?

The global sex toy market is worth billions of dollars and contains thousands of products. Walk into any adult store — physical or online — and you’ll encounter an overwhelming array of shapes, sizes, materials, technologies, and price points, with very little guidance about what actually matters.

Most people buying their first sex toy do so with a combination of curiosity, uncertainty, and a vague sense that they might be doing something wrong. They’re not. Buying a sex toy is a normal, healthy decision — and making a good choice is mostly a matter of knowing a few key things that the industry doesn’t always make obvious.

This guide covers everything that actually matters. Let’s start with the most important factor: materials.

Materials: The Most Important Thing Nobody Talks About

The material a sex toy is made from is the single most important factor in both safety and experience quality — and it’s the thing most first-time buyers pay the least attention to.

Body-Safe Materials (Always Choose These)

Medical-grade silicone is the gold standard. It’s non-porous (meaning bacteria cannot penetrate the surface), hypoallergenic, free from phthalates and other harmful chemicals, easy to clean, and durable. High-quality silicone has a smooth, skin-like texture that feels genuinely different from cheaper alternatives. Look for “medical-grade” or “body-safe” silicone specifically — not just “silicone,” which can mean almost anything.

ABS plastic is hard, non-porous, and body-safe. It’s commonly used for the internal components of toys and for toys that don’t require flexibility.

Borosilicate glass is non-porous, body-safe, and can be temperature-played (warmed or cooled for different sensations). High-quality glass toys are extremely durable and easy to sterilize.

Stainless steel shares the same properties as glass — non-porous, body-safe, temperature-responsive, and sterilizable.

Materials to Avoid

“Jelly” or “rubber” toys are almost always made from PVC with phthalate plasticizers — chemicals classified as endocrine disruptors linked to hormonal disruption. These toys are porous, cannot be properly cleaned, and degrade over time, releasing chemicals into the body.

“Cyberskin,” “UR3,” “Fanta Flesh” and similar trademarked materials are porous and cannot be sterilized. They require condom use and have a limited lifespan.

Unspecified “silicone blends” often contain significant proportions of PVC or other materials. If a product claims to be silicone but is priced significantly below what medical-grade silicone products cost, it’s likely not pure silicone.

Quick test: Touch a flame briefly to an inconspicuous part of the toy. Pure silicone will char and turn to ash. PVC will melt and smell of chemicals.

Types of Sex Toys: What Does What

Clitoral Stimulators

Designed for external stimulation of the clitoris. This is the category most recommended for first-time buyers, because the clitoris is the most reliably pleasure-responsive structure in the body and external stimulation is intuitive and low-risk.

Within this category, air pulse stimulators use pressure waves rather than direct vibration, producing a sensation many people find more intense and more similar to oral sex. Vibrating clitoral stimulators use direct mechanical vibration and are the more traditional option. Want to understand the difference in depth? Read our full breakdown: Air Pulse vs. Suction vs. Vibration: A Complete Guide to Stimulator Types →

Vibrators

A broad category that includes everything from small bullet vibrators to large wand massagers. Can be used externally or internally depending on design. Wand vibrators are powerful and versatile but large. Bullet vibrators are small, discreet, and good for targeted stimulation.

Rabbit Vibrators

Designed to provide simultaneous internal and external stimulation. The internal shaft provides penetration while an external arm stimulates the clitoris. Effective in theory, but fit varies significantly between individuals — the external arm may or may not align correctly with your anatomy. Not always the best first purchase for this reason. If you’re curious, our Radiant Rabbit 3-in-1 is a well-engineered option worth considering once you know what you like.

Dildos

Non-vibrating insertable toys. Range from realistic to abstract in design. Best used with lubricant. For first-time buyers, starting with a smaller size and working up is always the right approach.

Anal Toys

Butt plugs, anal beads, and prostate massagers. The most important rule: any toy used anally must have a flared base or retrieval cord. The rectum can draw objects inward, and toys without a flared base can become lodged — a medical emergency. Never use a toy anally that isn’t specifically designed for anal use.

What to Consider When Choosing

What Kind of Stimulation Are You Looking For?

External clitoral stimulation is the most reliable path to orgasm for most people with vulvas — research consistently shows that the majority of people cannot orgasm from penetration alone. If you’re unsure where to start, a clitoral stimulator is the lowest-risk, highest-reward first purchase.

Noise Level

If you share a living space or simply prefer discretion, noise level matters. Air pulse stimulators tend to be quieter than vibrators. Look for devices rated below 50 dB — quieter than a normal conversation.

Waterproofing

Waterproof toys are easier to clean and can be used in the bath or shower. Look for IPX7 rating (fully submersible) rather than just “splash-resistant.”

Rechargeable vs. Battery-Powered

Rechargeable toys are more convenient, more consistent in power output, and better for the environment. Battery-powered toys are cheaper upfront but cost more over time and often have less consistent performance as batteries drain.

Size

For insertable toys, smaller is almost always better for a first purchase. You can always size up; starting too large is uncomfortable and can create negative associations. For external toys, size matters less — focus on the stimulation mechanism instead.

Budget

Body-safe materials cost more than unsafe ones. A quality medical-grade silicone toy typically starts around $40–60 and goes up from there. Anything significantly cheaper is almost certainly made from unsafe materials. Think of it as a health purchase — the cost of a good toy is comparable to a few months of a skincare product, and it will last for years with proper care.

Our Recommendation for First-Time Buyers

If you’re buying your first toy and you’re not sure where to start, we recommend starting with a clitoral stimulator — specifically an air pulse device if you want to try something that feels genuinely different from what most people expect.

The Petal Soft Rose Wellness Stimulator checks every box for a first purchase: medical-grade liquid silicone, IPX7 waterproof, whisper-quiet (below 45 dB), 10 progressive modes, magnetic rechargeable, and beautifully designed. At $64.99, it’s priced fairly for the quality of materials and engineering. It also arrives in completely discreet, unbranded packaging — shipping label shows “RP Center,” billing shows “RP-WELLNESS.”

If you want to explore more options, browse our full sexual wellness collection →

Taking It Further: Using Toys With a Partner

Once you’ve found what works for you solo, introducing toys with a partner is a natural next step. We cover it in detail here: Using Sex Toys With a Partner: A Beginner’s Guide →

Enhancing Your Experience

Once you have your first toy, there’s a lot you can do to get more from it. Our guide on 5 Ways to Enhance Air Pulse Sensation is a great starting point if you go the air pulse route. And if you want to understand the anatomy behind why certain stimulation works better, read: Understanding Your Body: Internal vs. External Sensory Response →

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the safest material for a sex toy?

Medical-grade silicone is the safest and most recommended material for sex toys. It is non-porous, hypoallergenic, free from phthalates, easy to clean, and durable. ABS plastic, borosilicate glass, and stainless steel are also body-safe options. Avoid jelly, rubber, PVC, and unspecified “silicone blends.”

What type of sex toy is best for beginners?

A clitoral stimulator is the most recommended first purchase, particularly for people with vulvas. External stimulation is intuitive, low-risk, and statistically the most reliable path to orgasm. Air pulse stimulators are especially popular with beginners because the sensation is unique and often more intense than traditional vibration.

What is an air pulse stimulator and how is it different from a vibrator?

An air pulse stimulator uses gentle pressure waves (not direct contact vibration) to stimulate the clitoris. Many users describe the sensation as similar to oral sex. Traditional vibrators use mechanical vibration through direct contact. Air pulse devices tend to be quieter and produce a different, often more intense sensation. See our full comparison: Air Pulse vs. Suction vs. Vibration →

How much should I spend on my first sex toy?

Plan to spend at least $40–60 for a body-safe toy made from medical-grade silicone. Anything significantly cheaper is almost certainly made from unsafe materials like PVC or jelly rubber. Think of it as a health investment — a quality toy will last for years with proper care.

Are sex toys discreet to order online?

Yes — reputable brands ship in plain, unbranded packaging. At ROSE & PULSE, all orders ship with a neutral label (“RP Center”) and billing appears as “RP-WELLNESS” on your statement. There is no indication of the contents on the outside of the package.

How do I clean a sex toy?

For non-motorized silicone, glass, or stainless steel toys: wash with soap and water, or boil for 3–5 minutes to sterilize. For motorized toys: wipe down with a toy-safe cleaner or mild soap and water — do not submerge unless the toy is rated IPX7 waterproof. We cover this in full detail in our guide: How to Clean & Store Your Sex Toys the Right Way →

Can I use a sex toy with a partner?

Absolutely. Many couples find that introducing toys enhances intimacy and communication. We cover this topic in detail in our guide: Using Sex Toys With a Partner →

What does IPX7 waterproof mean?

IPX7 is an international standard meaning the device can be submerged in up to 1 meter of water for up to 30 minutes without damage. For sex toys, this means the toy can be safely used in the bath or shower and cleaned by running it under water. “Splash-resistant” is a weaker rating and does not mean the toy can be submerged.

One Last Thing

There’s no wrong way to explore your own pleasure, and there’s no timeline you’re supposed to be on. Buying a sex toy is a normal, healthy decision that millions of people make every day. The only things that matter are that the toy is made from safe materials, that you use it in a way that feels good to you, and that you clean it properly afterward.

Everything else is just details.

Shop the Petal Soft Rose Wellness Stimulator → — the ideal first purchase for anyone curious about air pulse technology.